R is for Random
by Kittasaymew
Summary: A bunch of hallarious one-shots collections I put together for your intertainment. Enjoy.
1. What?

Disclaimer: I don't own any Sly Cooper characters, they all belong to Sucker Punch Productions, and I don't own that either.

_R is for Random  
Chapter One  
What?_

Neyla: Hey, Ironsides, can I ask you a question?

Carmelita: Uh, sure?

Neyla:

Carmelita: Uh, Neyla?

Neyla: Yes?

Carmelita: Didn't you want to ask me a question?

Neyla: I did?

Carmelita: Yes.

Neyla: Oh.

Carmelita: So...what's your question?

Neyla: What question?

Carmelita: ~Smacks herself~ Nevermind.

Neyla: How did we get here? ~Looks around confused~

Carmelita: We drove here.

Neyla: Do I know you?

Carmelita: Yes! You work with me, remember?

Neyla: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

Carmelita: Huh?

Neyla: I never said I blame you!

Carmelita: What are you smoking?

Neyla: GERMS!

Carmelita: What?

Neyla: You iz covered in icky germs!

Carmelita: Uh, yes everybody is! ~Sneezes~

Neyla: O.o

Carmelita: What?

Neyla: SWINE FLU! ~Hits Carmelita with her whip~

Carmelita: OW!

Neyla: I iz have seen this meatball before! It iz stalking me!

Carmelita: -_-*

Neyla: You have rabies.

Carmelita: I don't have rabies!

Neyla: You're foaming at the mouth!

Carmelita: I am not!

Neyla: Am to!

Carmelita: Am not!

Neyla: Am too!

Carmelita: AM NOT!

Neyla: AM TOO!

Carmelita: ZIP YOUR FACE!

Neyla: ~Sniffling~

Carmelita: Are you _crying_?

Neyla: You hurt feelings!

Carmelita: Okay, I'm sorry. Don't cry!

Neyla: You iz not nice!

Carmelita: I'M SORRY!

Neyla: Who are you again?

Carmelita: LEAVE ME ALONE! ~Storms of to find Sly~

~A small kitten comes out of the shadows and jumps up on Neyla's shoulders~

Kitten: Did you see the look on Carmelita's face?

Neyla: Yup! Thanks for the help on annoying Carmelita, Kit!

Kit: Hey, no problem.

* * *

**_The kitten is Kit. She is my OC _**


	2. Paraniod Much?

Disclaimer: I don't own any Sly Cooper characters, they all belong to Sucker Punch Productions, and I don't own that either.

_R is for Random  
Chapter Two  
Paraniod Much?_

~Kit comes limping up to Penelope holding here paw with a thorn stuck in it~

Kit: Yo, mouse girl, I got this stupid thorn stuck in my freaking paw, and me being 95% animal. I can't get it out myself, so if you can kindly remove the little annoyance, I'll gladly be on my way-

Penelope: GERMS!

Kit: Huh?

Penelope: There's germs everywhere!

Kit: Uh yeah, I figured that...

Penelope: ~Gasp~ You're bleeding!

Kit: Um, yeah, I steeped on a thorn and it got stuck in my paw, I was hoping you could get it out for me...

Penelope: DON'T GET ANY BLOOD ON MY FLOOR!

Kit: Stop panicking!

Penelope: I'M NOT PANICKING! WHO SAID I'M PANICKING? I'M NOT PANICKING! ~Starts foaming at the mouth~

Kit: Um, I'll...be...with...Neyla... ~Turns and runs away~

Penelope: Oh, gosh, the germs! ~Starts cleaning like crazy~

**~The Next Day~**

Penelope: MY ROOM ISN'T SPOTLESS! ~Starts cleaning madly~

~Sly walks in with Kit on his shoulder~

Sly: Hey, Pene, Kit told me you're having a little problem...

Penelope: DON'T COME IN WITHOUT STERILIZING YOUR GRUBBY PAWS!

Sly: O_O You're right, this is bad.

Kit: ~Sneezes~

Penelope: !

Clockwerk: ~Runs in~ Is Sly dying?

Kit: He's right here, Clockie.

Sly: How did you get in my hideout?

Neyla: ~Runs in~ Oh, is Sly dying?

Kit: Why are you two excited about that?

Carmelita: ~Runs in~ OMG! ~Concerned~ Is Sly dying? What can I do to help?

Neyla and Clockwerk: OMG! You sick freak! How can you be excited about Sly dying? ~Slaps Carmelita~

Carmelita: -_-*

Penelope: Kit sneezed all over my floor!

Clockwerk: Cough*Blonde*Cough

Kit: You know that this house is full of dust, and dust is made of floating hair and dead skin cells and dandruff, right?

Penelope: O_O REALLY?

Kit: Yup.

Penelope: SQUEAK. ~Dies~

Kit: Sweet! I killed her!

~Everybody stares at her~

Kit: Uh,...I mean...uh... WHY! SHE WAS SO YOUNG! SHE HAD SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR! NOOOO! WHY! ~Cries~

Clockwerk: Is she seriously dead? ~Pokes her~ Yup, she's dead.

Sly: What so we do now?

Kit:...Who wants Burger King?

Everybody: ME! ~Leaves~

Penelope's Ghoast: Jerks.


	3. Ways to Annoy the Crap Out of Clockwerk

Disclaimer: I don't own any Sly Cooper characters, they all belong to Sucker Punch Productions, and I don't own that either.

_R is for Random  
Chapter Three  
Ways to Annoy the Crap out of Clockwerk:_

Buy him a Sly Cooper action figure

Poke him with a stick

Keep asking him what time it is

Make him go stand on your roof during a thunderstorm

Yell and yell at him until he yells back, then run behind Sly and say that Clockwerk snapped at you for no reason

Sing 'Do You Like Waffles?' whenever you're around him

Keeping asking how old he is

Whenever he's trying to kill you, say that violence is never the answer

Keep calling his name until he finally snaps, then say 'Hi'

Repeat the last step but say 'Uh, I forgot what I was going to say'

Repeat the last step but say 'Your shoe's untied'

Whenever you walk past him, smile and say congratulations, and when he asks you why you're congratulating him, say 'About your wedding' When he asks you what your talking about, say, 'How can you not remember your wedding with Sly?'

Call him a falcon

Call him a bald eagle

Call him a hawk

Sing the song that gets on everybody's nerves

Call him a he-she

When he asks you why you're calling him that, say 'Like you shouldn't know, _Clock-la_'

Call him a herm

Say how great a theif Sly is and tell Clockwerk how bad you feel for him because he can't steal as well as Sly

While running away from him, sing The Nom song

Punch him in his 'Nuts and Bolts'

Talk like moron whenever your around him

Say 'Does Clockie want a cracker?'

Do the Cupid Suffle when ever your around him

Do the Cha-Cha Slide whenever your around him

Read this list to him out loud

I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE IF YOU DO ALL THIS IN ONE DAY AND ARE STILL ALIVE


	4. It's Not Your Fault

Disclaimer: I don't own any Sly Cooper characters, they all belong to Sucker Punch Productions, and I don't own that either.

_R is for Random  
Chapter Four  
It's Not Your Fault_

Kit: Hey, Neyla.

Neyla: Yes, my evil little apprentice?

Kit: I'm going to play a prank on Isao for being a sexist!

Neyla: What do you have in mind?

Kit: Have you ever heard of resvers pschology?

Neyla: I think so...yeah?

Kit: Have you ever had somebody tell you it wasn't your fault, but you thought it was your fault anyways?

Neyla: I...think...so...

Kit: I'm going to go do that to Chicken Boy!

~**With Chicken Boy...~**

Isao: Oh, look, a female. Must speak slowly for her small brain to understand. How. Are. You. Lit-tle. Girl?

Kit: It's not your fault.

Isao: What?

Kit: It's not your fault!

Isao: O_O?

Kit: Stop blaming yourself! I don't blame you!

Isao: What are you talking about?

Kit: DON'T KICK YOURSELF! IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

Isao: I don't know what your talking about!

Kit: Neyla, tell Isao to stop blaming himself!

Neyla: Why are you blaming yourself?

Isao: You two are acting stupid.

Kit: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! I DON'T BLAME YOU!

~Penelope joins in~

Penelope: It's not your fault.

Isao: Oh, good, not the mouse girl.

Kit: Stop blaming yourself!

~Every other girl joins in~

Everybody except Isao: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!

Isao: YOU FEMALES ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!1 ~Screams and blows up~

Everybody:...

Kit: I think we over did it.

Neyla: Ya think?

Everybody:...

Penelope: Did you her him scream like a girl?

Contessa: Totally.

Kit: This is totally going down as a story on FanFiction Net.


	5. Cheese

Disclaimer: I don't own any Sly Cooper characters, they all belong to Sucker Punch Productions, and I don't own that either.

_R is for Random  
Chapter Five  
Cheese__  
_

Sly: Why is my bed covered with cheese?

Kit: ~Smugly~ Who said it was cheese?

Sly: 0_0


End file.
